Disappointment in a partnership
How disappointment arises in a partnership: the formula of expectations versus reality, suddenness, an accumulation of small things, unequal contribution with equal shares. A series on managing disappointment, lowering its potential and keeping it from destroying the relationship and the business.
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Why are conflicts between partners inevitable, and how can they be prevented?
People enter partnerships without knowing the rules, and friendly trust is no substitute for agreements. Disappointment equals reality minus expectations, so expectations must be discussed at the start, and each partner should ask how they would part if things go wrong.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Partner expectations · Partnership session · Partnership: the blind spot of business · Scenario planning: failure, windfall, a partner dropping out
Why do broken expectations and surprise breed partner conflicts?
Conflict builds when expectations are broken and news arrives suddenly. In a nightclub case, a co-owner in charge of a delayed renovation announces a holiday three days ahead, and both sides have a logic of their own; a session and an agreement defused it.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Partnership session · Tools and services
How can partners keep disappointment from wrecking the relationship?
Through communication, meaning systematic mutual immersion in context, and through cooperation: own what you control and bring the rest to joint discussion. The closer expectations are to reality, the lower the potential for disappointment.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership
Why must partners manage disappointment as well as expectations?
Disappointment is expectation minus reality: it breeds resentment and anger and sets off the four horsemen that wreck relationships: contempt, criticism, stonewalling and threats. The quality of a partnership depends on managing both expectations and disappointment.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership
Why do co-founders quarrel, and how do clear expectations prevent it?
The author holds that co-founders quarrel because they cannot manage disappointment and satisfaction. His model of clear expectations is Churchill's speech of 13 May 1940: no promises or abstractions, so any result better than expected counts as a win.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Partner expectations · Partnership session
Why do oral agreements fail once a partner needs nothing more from the other?
Two people launched a project, discussed terms orally and wrote nothing down; once it earned hundreds of thousands, the one in control called the other's investment a loan. The session and agreement have to happen while the partner still wants the cooperation.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Equity split between partners
What if one partner carries the suitcase and the money is split evenly?
In a joke about two friends splitting money fifty-fifty, the one who carries the suitcase eventually falls into depression: the effort is unequal, the share is equal. The author advises defining and fixing each side’s position in the partnership.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Equity split between partners · When partners see different realities
How can partners manage disappointment in a business partnership?
Disappointment is expectation minus reality, so the closer expectations are to reality, the weaker it is. The main tool is systematic communication: partners immersing each other in the context, so that disappointment does not grow into resentment, anger and a broken bond.
Original: Site blog
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership
How can partners reduce the potential for disappointment?
By systematically bringing each other into the context: the closer expectations are to reality, the less disappointment. Each partner owns what they control and brings the rest to joint discussion, so the disappointment is aimed at the situation, not at a partner.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership
How does disappointment build up in a partnership?
A partner hides the real state of affairs to spare the other, creates an illusion of control, or promises more than they can deliver. Meeting reality brings shock and undermines trust, even when it all began with good intentions.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Trust between partners
Which business situations inevitably disappoint partners?
Limited resources, client demands and the market create situations beyond partners' control: no funds for one partner's project, no full dividends, changed roles, cut funding for a business line. Partners need to be able to identify and soften this disappointment.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership
What is the formula for disappointment?
Disappointment arises where there is expectation and anticipation of victory, but poor awareness of the actual situation and no ability to control it.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership
What is disappointment made of?
Disappointment is the negative result of the operation "expectation minus reality". Psychology, sociology, management and partnership theory all study expectations, but life inevitably confronts them with reality, and unmet expectations lead to disappointment.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Partner expectations
How can disappointment be described mathematically?
Disappointment is the negative result of a subtraction: expectation minus reality. To manage it, one has to understand how it arises.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Partner expectations
Why is disappointment dangerous for a business partnership?
Disappointment breeds resentment, anger or despair and sets off the "Four Horsemen" that destroy relationships: contempt, criticism, stonewalling and threats. Partners therefore need to know its causes and manage it, not only expectations.
Original: LinkedIn
Topics: Disappointment in a partnership · Ideas from adjacent fields
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